11Sep/090
Holy Grail Credits
Back in the day it used to be impossible to read these... they still crack me up.
(from imdb.com)
All the credits are at the beginning.
There are no credits at the end.
The screen goes black.
The following are inserted into the real opening credits. They start as subtitles "translating" the credits into a "Pidgin-English-Swedish". (Though genuine Swedish does not use ø or ë.)
- Mønti Pythøn ik den Hølie Gräilen
- Røtern nik Akten Di
- Wik
- Alsø wik
- Alsø alsø wik
- Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?
- See the løveli lakes
- The wøndërful telephøne system
- And mäni interesting furry animals
- The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters, or history of any person is entirely accidental and unintentional.
Signed RICHARD M. NIXON - Including the majestik møøse
- A Møøse once bit my sister...
- No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...
- We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.
- Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
- We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.
- Møøse trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA
- Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT
Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL - Møøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III
Miss Taylor's Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME
Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign
com plicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG - Møøses' noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER
Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen
in the third scene from the end, given a thorough
grounding in Latin, French and "O" Level
Geography by BO BENN
Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER
Antler-care by LIV THATCHER - The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.
The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute. - Executive Producer
JOHN GOLDSTONE & "RALPH" The Wonder Llama
Producer
MARK FORSTATER
Assisted By
EARL J. LLAMA
MIKE Q. LLAMA III
SY LLAMA
MERLE Z. LLAMA IX
Directed By
40 SPECIALLY TRAINED
ECUADORIAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS
6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS
142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS
14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS
(CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA)
REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON
76000 BATTERY LLAMAS
FROM "LLAMA-FRESH" FARMS LTD. NEAR PARAGUAY
and
TERRY GILLIAM & TERRY JONES
